Get On The List {guest post}

This was written by a long-time friend of mine.

She posted it on Facebook and I asked for her permission to re-post it here.

I think this is beautifully written and something many of us moms need to hear.

Enjoy! 

 

I recently came to understand something about myself and more recently came to understand it well enough to articulate it. It's a reality some people already understand and nurture. But for many of us men AND women I think it is easily forgotten, overlooked, or possibly difficult to understand.

My children will always be my greatest accomplishment in life. I often look at them even in the simplest moments and feel my breath catch, with a pride, love and gratefulness that I won't attempt to explain. When I look at them I want to be the best FOR them. I want to get it ALL right. Unrealistic I understand...but none the less, my desire.

I am a stay at home mom, which as I have heard said many times, has got to be one of the hardest jobs. I always thought hard meant physically demanding. I was wrong. Cooking dinner, cleaning, errands, laundry, potty training, making forts, doing crafts, I need to go potty, I need a snack, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy....yes it is physically demanding. But it is also mentally exhausting. Being tired puts a strain on your mentality, and my desire to get it RIGHT puts a strain there too. The realization that they spend most of their time with me puts more pressure. It's not just about keeping them fed and the house clean. I'm creating little precious people. No pressure right? I want them to be confident, respectful, nurturing, curious, determined, talented, passionate, and so much more. I have to instill those things in them everyday. And it's NO easy task. It's easy to get frustrated...it's hard to slow down and try to make more things a learning experience. I feel like I'm failing all the time. I get frustrated with MYSELF all the time. I'm kicking myself all the time. But slowly with more success..I become more confident in what I'm doing. My children become more confident in what I'm doing. Slowly, things begin to fall into place. But as soon as it all clicks a new "phase" hits and the learning curve beings once again. But it's all worth it when you hear your children say please and thank you to strangers. It's worth it when your children confidently say hello or wave at someone. It's worth it when your children pick up a dropped item for a stranger. It's worth it when you see your children comfort each other. When you see them learn, when you see them conquer something, when you see them succeed. It's amazing. My job is hard and very important. I want to be the best.

Who am I? A mother and a wife. That's who I am TODAY. But who was I before that? It may not seem important who I was before..because this is my life now. But who I was before is important because its what made me who I am today. Behind every mother and wife is a woman with her own set of needs. Easy to overlook I think. The one who is looking after everyone else's needs in fact has needs of her own. It's the WOMAN in us that makes us great at what we do. I feel like that gets forgotten...even by the women. It's like planting a flower bed, not watering it, and then wondering why they are struggling to grow. Wondering why they aren't flourishing and blooming.

Of course my family always comes first, number one on my list. Always has and always will. But I have to get somewhere on that list too. I have to make it my goal to be on that list in order to be the best in the areas of my life that I am needed the most. I need a BREAK. Maybe go grocery shopping alone, go ride my horse, go to quilt class, cook dinner without a child hanging on my leg, a pedicure, a walk, a change of scenery, something. It doesn't have to be anything crazy. But a break. Time away. That hour away is when I grow. It's when I reflect on life, and things I can do better. It's when I get revitalized and energized. It's when I get to talk and get ideas from other moms. That is when I nurture me...the woman. That nurturing is what I mean about getting on the list. It's what improves me, makes me better at everything. It's what builds my confidence. It makes me eager to get back to my life as a mom and wife and be my best.

If men could try and remember the woman she was and remember that woman is still there. She always looks after everyone else's needs so help to look after her needs. Women you are your best advocate...you have to be. It's easy to see how men might forget our needs because we forget too when life gets busy. So do yourself and your family a favor...get on the list.

-Sarah G.