Seriously.
I don't even remember the last time I posted something.
I really miss it.
Its not because I haven't wanted to.
I have.
My life has just been insanely chaotic as I try to find my place in this world.
When you dedicate your entire adult life to one person and then you're forced
out of that contentment against your will...it kind of throws you for a loop.
The kids and I have been "on our own" for about 6 months now.
By "on our own" I mean, living with my parents.
All four of us, and our belongings, and our dog and our cat, squeezed into 2 tiny bedrooms...
my parent's flipping the bill for a majority of our expenses.
I've been working, for the first time ever.
That was a huge adjustment for my kids, to not have me around as much.
My mom and sister stepped in and have basically been raising my children these past few months.
I've tried out a couple of different jobs. Trying to find something that works for me and our schedule.
I signed my son up for t-ball, which has been a fun little escape for him.
I just hate missing his games.
His coach was ecstatic to learn that he is a switch-hitter.
I didn't really realize how cool that was until he announced it at a game.
I'm such a proud mommy and he is so proud of his abilities.
My daughter just signed up for the Boys and Girls club and will be going on weekly field trips throughout the summer.
That will be good for her.
As of now, I am still attempting to homeschool.
We took a long hiatus as we went through that initial adjustment.
I just decided that we will continue through the summer until all our work is done.
We still make frequent trips to the library and the kids both get to pick a subject they want
to learn about. They really enjoy that. We've done volcanoes, mummys, and birds.
Not sure what to do about next year.
Kayden is reading a lot and every now and then I add a new chapter book on her kindle.
Britton is potty training and we are about 75% completed!
Haven't tried her at night yet but other than that, she's doing great.
I just took a week vacation for myself. Something I have NEVER done but NEEDED to do.
One of my closest friends was driving home to Dallas with her three kids and two cats.
She's visiting for about 6 wks since her husband is in Afghanistan.
I wasn't about to let her make that trek alone so I offered to go with her.
And I'm so glad I did.
It couldn't have come at a better time.
I needed to get away from my world for a minute and relax and have fun.
And thats exactly what I did.
My short vacay brought up some realizations for me and I returned home with an
urge to clean out the negativity from my life.
I've never been one to "cut" people out, but I started to now.
There are some people that just aren't contributing factors to my emotional well-being and they had to go.
Not only that, but I quit my job.
I know, I've never needed a job more desperately than I do now, but I had to.
It wasn't good for me, lets just say that.
But I'm not going to be one of those single mom divorcees who sponges off the govt.
Although I did just apply for welfare and food stamps...
But I have also spent a majority of my free time filling out job applications to anything and everything I can get my hands on.
I am determined to make a good life for my children dammit.
One of the most exciting new things is that we are finally getting our own place.
I found a 3 br rental that will be perfect for us, for now.
We have spent the last few days cleaning it up and painting it to give us all the fresh start we deserve.
The kids are so excited to settle down somewhere.
We get to move in tomorrow!
This has definitely been one of the greatest hurdles I've had to get over.
It isn't easy by any means.
I have so much anger, hurt, emotions, and questions wrapped up into this.
But I'm trying my hardest to put one foot in front of the other and keep going in the right direction.
I just applied for freaking welfare....
I think I'm about as low as I can get right now.
And the only way to go from here is where?
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